(Tuesday, September 23, 2008/10:45 AM)

Dear diary,

just few thoughts from what I have been observing lately.

First up. My mode of transportation to work would primarily be the train. As Im at the far end, I would normally get a seat. There this particular morning on the way to work. As the train approaches City Hall station, came in two ladies, one pregnant and the other typical auntie. The pregnant lady wasn't facing me but from the window reflection I could see her big tummy. Being such a civid-minded girl and I am stopping at the next station, I gave up my seat. But once I got up, automatically the typical auntie compete with the pregnant lady for that seat. I was very appalled. Obviously she is being super selfish. Both me and the pregnant lady stared at each other. I got no time to ask her to get up also coz the train has stopped at my alighting station. All I know that typical auntie has just show her ugly side and lived up to the "UGLY KIASU SINGAPOREAN" image. Also the trains nowadays has put aside "priority seats". But from my observation is that those people seated on these seats were either "sleeping" or ignorant. There is a sign just above the seat and yet they can ignore it. All I can say is if you are not part of the problem, you are part of the solution. I am sure there is a minority lot of people out there are more considerate to others. I believe there are other people who are in need of those seats apart from us all.

I have been in the workforce for few years. And I kept telling myself never ever to get involved in office politics. I told myself to be nice to everyone. Well in my current situation, dun be nice to the flirt and cheeky men. However somehow these politics just hit me. At first when I got reprimanded, I assume they are just critical about my work. But slowly I began to understand. They just dont like your face. They can just shoot you with anything and find fault with you for just the simplest reason. Why again? They dun like your face. Somehow being pretty also sucks. Hee. Well, perse we are allowed to go downstairs in the middle of working time to buy drinks or food. It is ok by the head in the office. However this person simply gets mad and finding me whenever she noticed I am not around. Sometimes I didnt even get to go prayers coz she will always called out for "Siti, Siti!!!" And I have to make myself noticeable by her. Onli her! Even the part-timers are treated better. Therefore I came to conclusion that apparently she has an issue with my face and not my work.

Everyone has temper, moodswings, raging hormones and so on. However if we learnt to control our emotions and dont let it get the better of us, we will be fine. However there are some lot of people who simply cant control their feelings and just letting go by either breaking down, screaming, cursing or goin hysterical. Or worse throwin on someone innocent. I have a friend whom used to be closed. She kept calling me stupid, bodoh and at first Im ok but slowly I am getting offended. The thing is I never piss you off or made you angry and you got to be callin me stupid. I dont care if you are angry or piss at something as but as an adult human being you should learn to control your own emotions instead of throwin on someone else. I realise that it happened too many times and everytime no apologies, I began to feel extremely very offended. Obviously she got no feelings for others too. Maybe she is like that to her other friends, but she know me damn long ald and knows what is appopriate and wats not. There is this malay saying, "menggaum bila di kadang harimau dah menggeow di sangkar kucing" It is something like that ar, pardon me, I tend to forget about it. It simply means you behave differently when you are at two different place. I think I wont comment anything about it unless she make the first move. My own parents dont even called me stupid. Why right have she? Even our Prophet, the most respectable person is very humble and dont look down on others. What right have she? True, friends are friends. But if I did no wrong why should I be the first person making the move?

I am a strong believer in karma and divine retribution. Dont get me wrong. Im nice afterall if you know me well. But I think undo others and others will undo you.

These are just my two cents worth. Dont be offended, just take everything with a pinch of salt.

....Cee-Tee | 0 signing off...