(Wednesday, March 28, 2007/4:31 PM)

Dear diary,
I was told to clear my RO, which simply means I got to take 5 days off from work. Why? Cause I got so much of OT. Imagine 5 days, away from counter, peace from work, free from folding jeans. So shiok!!! But then when I come back later, I will be workin my arse off cause she will on leave for one whole week and that I couldnt take any off day throughout the whole week. Damn it!

I went to Sentosa last Sunday. It was awesome. But the most greatest part was the FREE ride up the Caslberg Sky Tower and plus the FREE photo taken. Why? Hehe, I have my secret weapon why it was free. The photo was great. I gave it to him to keep. I went to Underwater World & Dolphin Lagoon too. I have never been there and so the feeling was kinda overwhelming. Will post the photos up soon, maybe when he sent it over to me. Well, I wish I could visit the Fort Siloso Tour but then dued to time constraint, perhaps another time.

I met up with Bestie lately. Haven seen each other for quite a while. As usual,I dont know why whenever we met, sure got problems on our minds.

Recently, I dont know why but I have been rather obsessive about goin to the gym. I dont know why myself. I went for a jog the other day and now it seems I keep wantin to hit the gym. I went to my aunt's club at UOB Centre the other day to try the treadmills and their pool and spa. It was awesome. I might want to consider signin up for membership. Just yesterday alone, I hit the road for a jog and after which I went for a swim with Bestie. Guess all those problems has been a bit too much on my head that I really felt like drownin them all. Furthermore, Im not obsessed about losing weight, Im ok with my weight it's just that I want to shape and tone up my body. Well, someone said that I'm "buncit". Fine, it kinds of giving me the motivation to work on my body.

Actually, I kind of feeling rather shitty. Super shitty. You have never seen me fuming, throwin my temper at all, screamin or shoutin at you but it doesnt mean that when i'm quiet and my mouth is shut, it doesnt mean I'm ok and not angry. For goodness sake, I am human and I have feelings too. It's just that I rather keep my mouth shut instead of addin fuel to the fire burnin. I kept it inside, bottled it inside and frankly just today alone I really felt that I have almost reach my breakin point already. Serious, I really feel like screamin at you just now and throw anything that I could grab on to you. Fucked it! I have almost reached the boilin stage already and its just take one more nonsense I will release them all out. I WAS already on the verge. Nasib baik aku sempat mengucap.

You fuckinly think its easy to plan every single thing. You think its an easy job. Well, hey why dont you try plannin and figurin it all out and see that if ONE VERY FINE DAY you have a mental block and SICK of planning. It has always been easy on you, sittin back and takin it all but why dont you try givin something instead of just taking. Frankly, I have enough.

You always expect everythin to go as planned and when shit happens, you get all worked out, get enraged and be pissed. And when I suggested somethin else, you can simply say I have no mood. WHY dont we try switchin places and see how you feel when I said that to you? You expected everything to be perfect. Well, nothing is perfect alright. And nobody is. You called me clumsy, you called me messy. Well, hey that is me alright. Those are the uniquesness traits I possessed. I loved being messy, get myself all messed up and dont fuckin give a care what others might say, be it my hair, my clothes and the way I carried myself. Cause I know not all the days you loved playin all dressed up, you will get damn bored of it. And damn I am not the perfect girl-next-door. I dont see why I should change myself to something I am not. I am not perfect. In fact I am a FINE example of BEAUTY OF IMPERFECTION. It comes in a package. Some of the traits I possesed may be good or bad. You just have to accept it.

I realise being nice to you isnt workin. In fact lately, I have been rather cruel, harsh and even hard on you. What's the point of being nice when end up I will only get hurt, will only go unappreciated? Really, I think I gave in too much already and I am sick and tired. I have tolerated enough already. And I dont know how much more I can tolerate. You dont care, you dont bother and why should I? Maybe I should give you the same treatment you gave me.

You said you would want to go cyclin with me, walk to the beach with me. You knew I'm on leave for 5 days and you said we will plan something. Like I said, words only remain as words, action speaks louder.

You wont know whether I am mad or damn pissed with you. I have never show you my anger, my temper, my ugly side. Maybe one fine day you will come to realise it.

I'm going for my yoga tomorrow. Well, its has been almost one month since I last went. Forgot all the movements already. Maybe after which I will hit my aunt's club for their treadmill and pool. Sometimes solitary is a blessings.

....Cee-Tee | 0 signing off...